Breaking the Habit
By Tabby
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Rawhide leaned forward in his seat, his eye intently watching as the boy on the other side of the one-way mirror paced and fidgeted. There were dark circles under those beautiful blue eyes. He was thinner than ever before, even more obvious now that he had tossed his shirt aside. He was shivering even as sweat rolled down his brow.
"He looks pretty well done in." Rawhide mumbled.
Dr. Banzai glanced up from where he had been flipping through some charts. "Yea? Well, drugs have a hell of a way of doing that to a person."
Rawhide took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Must be a hell of a hangover." he couldn't help but fidget himself. He hated sitting and doing nothing. Particularly when that's what got them here in the first place.
The kid had put himself under enormous pressure, determined to make himself one of the Cavaliers... Not just one of them, the PERFECT Cavalier. Fixing all the problems they had with the jet car. Hell, he even fixed the stupid coffee pot. Anything and everything to get him on the top billing.
All the while doping himself up so he could keep up with his ballistic agenda.
And then came the New Year's Eve party. Perfect Tommy was already flying high when Rawhide had dragged him away from his precious work to join in on the festivities.
Alcohol... a lot of alcohol on top of the damn drugs...
"Damn, I hate seeing him like that!" Rawhide suddenly snapped, lurching to his feet and stomping away from the window.
Banzai watched his friend for a moment, before setting aside the charts. "You know this is just the hangover, don't you? It's going to get a lot worse."
Rawhide hung his head.
"Withdraw will kick in soon." Banzai went on. "And, though I can ease some of the symptoms, it's gonna still hit him hard."
The big cowboy turned back to the window.
Perfect Tommy was sitting on the floor, his back to the bed, his arms wrapped around his head.
Rawhide shook his head. "I should have seen this. I know every part of his body. I know every breath he takes."
"Rawhide, you are better than taking responsibility for this." Banzai reminded him. He too turned to watch their youngest Cavalier. "He was doing this long before he came to us. We had nothing to compare his behavior to. Besides..." He glanced at his friend. "If anything, your relationship with him is what's going to get him through this." When Rawhide threw him a frown, he continued "You're his anchor, his lifeline. He can hold onto you. And you can hold onto him when he's ready to give up." Banzai handed him a paper cup with two little white pills.
"What's this?" Rawhide wanted to know, suspicious of all pills now.
"Aspirin." Banzai assured. "His head's probably killing him. He could use some tender love and care at the moment. A little aspirin, a little you..." The doctor shrugged. "He just might settle down a bit."
Rawhide looked at him doubtfully.
Banzai smile slightly, hoping it would reassure his friend a little. "Okay, maybe it'll settle you down a bit."
Again Rawhide sighed. Taking the cup, he went to the door, waited for Banzai to buzz him in, then entered the room.
Perfect Tommy stiffened at the sound of the door buzz, but he didn't look up. He was pretty sure he knew who it was and he really did not want to see him just right now. Seeing him would mean explaining to him.
And how could Tommy explain something he, himself, didn't understand?
The only furniture in the room was the hospital bed, a chair, and a roll table that held a plastic water pitcher and a plastic cup.
Rawhide crossed the room to the table and poured a cup of water, then crouched down beside Perfect Tommy. "Hey, baby." he said softly. "Have some aspirin for you."
"Go away." was grumbled from under the boy's arms.
"Tommy, they'll help with your headache." Rawhide tried again. When there was no answer, he tried pleading: "Please, baby, I know you're hutrin'..."
Suddenly Perfect Tommy's hand snapped out slapping the pill cup across the room. Just as sudden, he buried his head under his arms again.
Rawhide leaned back, watching the cup spin of the floor, spilling out its contents. With a sigh, he glanced up at the mirror, wondering what expression Banzai wore at just that moment. Then he turned back to Perfect Tommy. "It's your head."
"Yea, it is." Tommy growled.
Rawhide reached out and laid a hand on the back of the boy's neck. Tommy tried to move away, but Rawhide pulled him closer
Without a word, he wrapped his big arms around the frail form of his lover, holding him close to his chest.
After a long, silent moment, Perfect Tommy whispered "Rawhide?"
"Yea, baby?"
"It's just a hangover. I'm fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Nothin' to it." he tried to lie his way out.
"Tom, they did a blood test."
"It was wrong!" Tommy protested before even waiting for the results.
"No, it wasn't." Rawhide answered. "And this isn't just a hangover. And you are not fine. And this is not something you can just sleep off."
There was another moment of silence, before Perfect Tommy snarled "What the hell do you know about it?"
Rawhide resisted the urge to flinch. Again his eyes glanced at the mirror, almost wishing he could see his friend on the other side, have a little visible reassurance that he was there. But, when he felt his Tommy try to pull away again, his attention returned to the figure in his arms. His grip tightened, refusing to let him go... physically, mentally, or any other way.
Exhaustion, headache, and simple not wanting to fight, Perfect Tommy finally just collapsed against Rawhide's chest. "Why don't you just leave me alone?" he whispered, fighting back tears.
Rawhide dropped his head, brushing his lips across Tommy's forehead. "Because I'm not giving up on you. So you best just get used to it. I ain't goin' no where." he swore. "No where at all."
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