I guess this is kinda a round robin if you like. Everyone at The Institute is being sent it. Fill it out for whoever you want. Let your imagination go wild. Try to be honest to the character, but remember, most of these guys and gals are wise asses and VERY bored. And they can respond to other answered questionnaires too, since those are being sent out too. Every answered questionnaire must end with a SEND so that the reader knows where the e-mail ends and the story is taking place.
Any questions?
Have fun!
Lots of it!

The Chronicler

~~~~~~~~~~
The Questionnaire 1/?
By The Chronicler
~~~~~~~~~~

It was the most boring day the Banzai Institute had ever experienced.

It was raining, storming to be precise. Thunder and lightening and wind and black clouds... the whole nine yards.

Thus everyone was trapped indoors. Wouldn't have been so bad. Geniuses tend to have a pretty good at entertaining themselves, designing, building, curing, just doodling, whatever. But it seemed like the well of imagination had dried up. All over the house, folks were sitting about, staring sleepy eyed at their computer screens or work tables, completely zoned.

"You've got mail."

Mrs. Johnson blinked as if waking from a deep sleep. "Mail?" she mumbled, glancing about for the speaker, before her eyes fell on her computer and the little blinking icon of Bugs Bunny on a pony express pony.

Hoping for something of interest, she tapped a button. The e-mail opened. She sighed her disappointment.

"Just another stupid survey." she complained.

"Survey? 'bout what?" Billy Travis asked as he wandered into the entrance of the house, munching on a banana.

"Just one of those survey thingies boredom stuck computer junkies send out on rainy days." she reached for the delete button, but Billy grabbed her hand.

"Hello-o!" He waved a hand about. "Boredom struck computer junkie on a rainy day standing right here!"

Mrs. Johnson smiled slightly. "Why not. Nothing better to do." With a tap it was open.

Billy leaned over her shoulder. "Hmmm... name, age, gender... yadda yadda." He frowned. "Well, so much for a distraction. Don't these boredom struck computer junkies have an ounce of imagination?"

Mrs. J threw him an amused glance. "And what should they be askin'?"

Billy shrugged. "Stuff... fun stuff."

"Like...?"

The young computer whiz shrugged. "Like... instead of gender ask sex. 'stead of asking `when' whoever woke up, should ask `why.' Or `what' woke whoever up."

She chuckled. "Can you imagine the answers to come out of this house?" She stopped.

Billy froze in mid bite of his banana.

They looked at each other.

They grinned.

~~~~~

"You've got mail"

-- The BB Questionnaire:

-- Name-
-- Age-
-- Sex-
-- Marital Status-
-- Dream Home-
-- Favorite Article of underwear-
-- How do you eat your Favorite Desert-
-- Favorite weapon-
-- Favorite part of you body-
-- " " another's body-
-- Last C.D./DVD bought-
-- Favorite Movie/TV show-
-- Favorite Room at the Banzai Institute-
-- Favorite Place to be Massaged-
-- Do you Cook-
-- Favorite Season-
-- Favorite flower-
-- Blue or Black Ink-
-- Latex or Leather or Rubber-
-- Favorite Color-
-- Do you have a Tattoo-
-- Beer or Wine-
-- Who was the last person you saw before going to sleep-
-- Who was the first person you saw when you woke up-
-- Should we worry-
-- Favorite Hobby-
-- Favorite Person-
-- Favorite Chore-
-- Least Favorite Chore-
-- If you could have any super power, what would it be-
-- If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be-
-- If you could change anyone in the house, who would it be-
-- Most Dangerous thing you've ever done-
-- Favorite Childhood Memory-
-- Wizard or Warrior-
-- Who do you think would be the last person to respond to this Survey-
-- At this very moment do you think someone in the house is not wearing underwear-
-- Who-

Mrs. Johnson giggled. "No one's gonna answer this." she complained.

"House full of bored Geniuses with nothing to do." Billy shrugged. "It's answer this or do dishes."

She glanced back at him. "We have a dishwasher."

He grinned. "Point." And he leaned over her shoulder and hit `SEND.' Then he spun about and started up the stairs.

"Hey! Where you goin'?"

"Gonna answer the survey." He shook a finger at her. "Don't you forget to answer it too."

Mrs. Johnson frowned, watching him take off. When he was gone, she turned back to her computer screen. After a moment she sighed. "Why not."

-- The BB Questionnaire:

-- Name- Eunice Johnson
-- Age- Yea, right
-- Sex- F
-- Marital Status- been there, done that
-- Dream Home- fluorescent pink cottage in the back field near Knuckles' wild cats' house. I like to watch the cats. But Rawhide refuses to let me paint anything fluorescent pink. ::prude::
-- Favorite Article of underwear- happy face boxers
-- How do you eat your Favorite Desert- spoon. I love Rocky Road!
-- Favorite weapon- pump action super soaker
-- Favorite part of your body- My toes
-- " " another's body- ::giggles:: I just love eyes.
-- Last C.D./DVD bought- Lord of the Rings for Reno. He was practically drooling for it. Took all the HKC to keep him away from the video store long enough for me to pick it up and give it to him for his birthday.
-- Favorite Movie/TV show- Well, duh, back to the Future. Fix is like gorgeous!
-- Favorite Room at the Banzai Institute- My bedroom. Good memories in there.
-- Favorite Place to be Massaged- ::shakes head "Why the hell did he ask that? Boys!":: Feet.
-- Do you Cook- Bet your ass. Cook circles around anyone and everyone in this joint!
-- Favorite Season- Summer.
-- Favorite flower- red rose
-- Blue or Black Ink- glitter pink, smells like strawberries, though Rawhide keeps hiding them and filling my desk with black ball points ::pouts::
-- Latex or Leather or Rubber- Leather, and I look damn good in it too!
-- Favorite Color- Well, duh! Pink!
-- Do you have a Tattoo- Yup. Bet none of you knew that! a little butterfly just under my belly button. ::"Please, Peggy, don't read this."::
-- Beer or Wine- wine
-- Who was the last person you saw before going to sleep- Reno.
-- Who was the first person you saw when you woke up- Peggy
-- Should we worry- ::laughs::
-- Favorite Hobby- baking
-- Favorite Person- I love everyone.
-- Favorite Chore- walking Oddity
-- Least Favorite Chore- puppy sitting Oddity. You have any ideas how many shoes I've lost to that mutt? Yea, Knuckles, I called him a mutt! ::hiding under my desk::
-- If you could have any super power, what would it be- Time travel. Some things I just wish I could redo.
-- If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be- My nose. Every girl wants to change her nose.
-- If you could change anyone in the house, who would it be- Rawhide. Or rather his stetson. That thing's older than dirt!
-- Most Dangerous thing you've ever done- Called Oddity a mutt in front of Knuckles
-- Favorite Childhood Memory- The whole time after I climbed the wall into the Banzai Institute.
-- Wizard or Warrior- Why can't I be both? Warrior Wizard. And princess! The Warrior Wizard Princess... lives a top a hill in a fluorescent pink castle!
-- Who do you think would be the last person to respond to this Survey- Everyone. No one answers these stupid things. They're just for boredom struck computer geeks with nothing else to do on a rainy day. ::"Wonder what that says about me."::
-- At this very moment do you think someone in the house is not wearing underwear- ::snicker.:: Yes.
-- Who- Perfect Tommy

SEND

~~~~~

"You've got mail"

"Damn, someone actually answered." Mrs. Johnson mumbled. "Probably Billy." She clicked it open.

~~~~~

-- The BB Questionnaire:

-- Name- William P Travis
-- Age- 21
-- Sex- as often as possible
-- Marital Status- single but looking for the right girl
-- Dream Home- The holodeck on the Star Ship Enterprise
-- Favorite Article of underwear- striped briefs
-- How do you eat your Favorite Desert- straw for root beer float
-- Favorite weapon- Jedi light saber
-- Favorite part of you body- my fingers
-- " " another's body- lips
-- Last C.D./DVD bought- Ozzy Osborn. helps me concentrate.
-- Favorite Movie/TV show- STNG
-- Favorite Room at the Banzai Institute- Bunkhouse. Can do just about anything in there... and get away with it!
-- Favorite Place to be Massaged- the soft spots just behind the eyes
-- Do you Cook- Tried once. But when the smoke alarms went off, Mrs. J threw me out of the kitchen.
-- Favorite Season- Don't know. Kinda don't prefer one over any other. I'm kinda an indoors kinda guy. Computers are kinda hard to drag out doors.
-- Favorite flower- I kinda like daisies. That isn't like girly or anything is it?
-- Blue or Black Ink- black. Easier for the scanners to pick up
-- Latex or Leather or Rubber- I'm kinda a jeans type of guy, but always imagined myself in biker leathers.
-- Favorite Color- Blue
-- Do you have a Tattoo- No. But was thinking about getting one. You know, something Blue Blaze like. Like a BB on the shoulder. Maybe we should all get one. Like a combat unit or something. Show our brotherhood.
-- Beer or Wine- ::Frown:: they won't let me drink yet.
-- Who was the last person you saw before going to sleep- Peggy Banzai sent me to bed like I was a little kid. ::"Mother Hen!"::
-- Who was the first person you saw when you woke up- Rawhide. He was just coming in from his morning chores at the stables.
-- Should we worry- Hell, yea! What kinda guy gets up THAT early in THIS weather to play with a bunch of horses? We all should get Rawhide looked at.
-- Favorite Hobby- making computer games
-- Favorite Person- TommyBoy because she teaches me a lot about computers and she doesn't mind learning when I know something she doesn't know about computers.
-- Favorite Chore- fixing the house's computers
-- Least Favorite Chore- fixing Perfect Tommy's computers. Every time something goes wrong in his lab he throws a tantrum that ends up focusing on one of my computers. He's worse than Xan!
-- If you could have any super power, what would it be- move faster than the speed of light. faster than that.
-- If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be- Wish I wasn't so scrawny. I'd be more use in a fight if I was big like Rawhide or strong like Buckaroo.
-- If you could change anyone in the house, who would it be- Perfect Tommy and his funny hair. Then again, what else would we stand around guessing at if not his hair color.
-- Most Dangerous thing you've ever done- wrecked the BunkHouse computers when Uilc Dochas attacked the Institute.
-- Favorite Childhood Memory- Christmas when I was five or something. It was just my mother and I and we didn't have any money. But we lit candles and hung buttons and bottle caps on a little tree. She had bought me socks and paper and pencils. I had made her a paper fan. We didn't have much, and I don't know why it's my favorite, but it is.
-- Wizard or Warrior- Wizard. Defiantly a wizard. I can do magic with a computer.
-- Who do you think would be the last person to respond to this Survey- Rawhide. He's kinda a stick in the mud. And maybe Knuckles. She isn't really all that much fun either. Kinda scary, really.
-- At this very moment do you think someone in the house is not wearing underwear- ::grins:: Yea.
-- Who- rather not think about who.

SEND

~~~~~

"You've got mail"

Mrs. Johnson jumped. "Another?" she breathed, amazed.

Eagerly, she opened her e-mail.

~~~~~
2/?
By Tommy Boy
~~~~~~

Tommy Boy walked into her office and turned on her computer. While it booted up she found a few cd's to listen to while she did her morning work.

She was spending a week at the cabin with Thunder. He was in between assignments and they were taking some down time to be together. She still checked in in the morning to take care of basic duties and check and clear her email.

She sat down with her glass of cola and started reading through the list of emails.

One caught her eye, one from Mrs. Johnson. She opened and saw that it was a survey. When she was pressed for time, she would normally delete it but she was feeling relaxed. She looked it over and thought, why not.

Hitting forward, she started filling in the answers.

-- Name- Tommy Boy
-- Age- I don't think so
-- Sex- female
-- Marital Status- Married
-- Dream Home- Living in it .. modern cabin in the woods with lots of space
-- Favorite Article of underwear- lace panties with matching bra
-- How do you eat your Favorite Desert- lick it
-- Favorite weapon- a good uzi in tommy gun mode
-- Favorite part of you body- Thunder says my lips
-- " " another's body- Thunder's ass J
-- Last C.D./DVD bought- Rooney
-- Favorite Movie/TV show- Sleeping in Seattle, Thunder says I'm a hopeless romantic
-- Favorite Room at the Banzai Institute- dark room, for more than being ready to develop film
-- Favorite Place to be Massaged- Toes
-- Do you Cook- yes
-- Favorite Season- Spring
-- Favorite flower- hmmm… roses
-- Blue or Black Ink- black
-- Latex or Leather or Rubber- leather
-- Favorite Color- *looks at self* army olive drab green
-- Do you have a Tattoo- yes, and only a few know where and what it is
-- Beer or Wine- don't drink
-- Who was the last person you saw before going to sleep- Thunder
-- Who was the first person you saw when you woke up- Thunder
-- Should we worry- no
-- Favorite Hobby- photography
-- Favorite Person- Thunder
-- Favorite Chore- reception
-- Least Favorite Chore- mucking the damn stalls, I know we are deep in shit but that is a little much
-- If you could have any super power, what would it be- telepathy
-- If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be- less vulnerable in emotions
-- If you could change anyone in the house, who would it be- take the 5th
-- Most Dangerous thing you've ever done- gone to see my brother when he was working for Xan by myself.
-- Favorite Childhood Memory- none. . all repressed
-- Wizard or Warrior- Wizard
-- Who do you think would be the last person to respond to this Survey- Rawhide
-- At this very moment do you think someone in the house is not wearing underwear- yes
-- Who- Perfect Tommy

Tommy Boy read over it and smiled. She hit name addy's to Mrs. Johnson, and added Buckaroo, Peggy, Rawhide, Thunder, Perfect Tommy and a few of her crew in the computer lab. She hit send and sat back chuckling.

Thunder was passing through the living room when he heard his wife laughing. He stood in the doorway. "And what has you snorting so early in the morning?"

"Mrs. J. sent out a survey. I answered it."

"And? Anything revealing?"

"Some of the questions could make you think twice about the person. But nothing to deep."

Thunder knew his wife better than that. "Whatever you say dear. You'll be ready to ride at eleven?"

"Yes. I'm just going to check through the emails and see what the gang is working on in the office."

"See you in a few." Thunder headed back to the backdoor. He need to check on the horses and get them ready for their afternoon ride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3/?
By Arc Light
~~~~~~~~~~

Mickey Maus's answers

Mickey Hears a low voice saying "Mail Time".

He pours himself a cup of tea and looks at the current e-mail. Shaking his head he exclaims with a chuckle. "Oh goody a survey."

Looking thru the responses from previous entries, his laughter echoes thru his quiet room. He feels he must share his views as well. Slowly writing and pauses awhile to think of the answers.

-- Name- Micheal Thomas Maus
-- Age- figure it out
-- Sex- Male
-- Marital Status- widowed
-- Dream Home- Three story mountain villa
-- Favorite Article of underwear- Only the bed sheets know for sure
-- How do you eat your Favorite Desert- a fork
-- Favorite weapon- A warp gun
-- Favorite part of you body-eyes
-- " " another's body- Mrs. Johnson smile
-- Last C.D./DVD bought-Hair Original Cast
-- Favorite Movie/TV show- Movie: Goodbye Mr. Chips TV: Screensavers
-- Favorite Room at the Banzai Institute- Mrs. Johnson office
-- Favorite Place to be Massaged-neck
-- Do you Cook- yes
-- Favorite Season- Summer
-- Favorite flower- Roses
-- Blue or Black Ink- Green
-- Latex or Leather or Rubber- leather
-- Favorite Color- Green
-- Beer or Wine- wine
-- Who was the last person you saw before going to sleep- Perfect Tommy (Don't ask)
-- Who was the first person you saw when you woke up- New Jersey(Again don't ask)
-- Should we worry- Only if the cops show up
-- Favorite Hobby- Computer themes
-- Favorite Person- Mrs. Johnson
-- Favorite Chore- Maintaining the firewall at the institute database.
-- Least Favorite Chore- standing watch
-- If you could have any super power, what would it be- Time Travel. I would try to change some parts of my past.
-- If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be- My flashbacks to former career (i.e. Covert SEAL exercises)
-- If you could change anyone in the house, who would it be- No one
-- Most Dangerous thing you've ever done- I had my rifle sites on Udai Hussain.
-- Favorite Childhood Memory- My first visit to Japan
-- Wizard or Warrior- Wizard
-- Who do you think would be the last person to respond to this Survey- Dr. Banzai
-- At this very moment do you think someone in the house is not wearing underwear- yes
-- Who- Perfect Tommy

As he chuckles to himself, he wonders if everyone would enjoy this as well. He hits the send key. Finishing his tea, he jumps in the shower. A brisk five minute military shower later, he gets dress. As he heads out the door, he nearly stumbles over New Jersey who is still passed out on the floor.

Nudging him with his foot, he yells. "Hey Sidney! Get up! You got your own bed to sleep, and it's not my floor."

With a loud groan, New Jersey rolls over and blinks in pain. Slowly lifting his arm he looks at his watch.

"Shit!" He exclaims. "What in the hell happened last night."

Mickey smiles. "I can't tell you because I plead the fifth."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pecos' Answer
By Nicki Knight
=====

Pecos stretched her arms over her head as far as she could reach until her shoulders popped.

Reno winced. "You gotta do that?" he wondered.

"No." She linked her fingers and bent them back until eight of the ten popped. "Don't have to do it at all."

He glared at her. "Ever heard of arthritis?"

"Ever heard of a nag?" she returned with a grin.

Reno looked her up and down with a slow, meaningful look. "I could think of a few things to nag."

"Like fixing my word processor?!" It wasn't quite a request.

The writer sighed a heavy disappointed sigh. But then he dragged his feet over to her computer desk under her bedroom window. "You know, Billy or one of the other computer geeks would be better at this." he suggested, not at all thrilled with being called to his girl's bedroom on this dreary, boring day to set up her word processor.

Pecos gasped. "Are you suggesting that I allow another man to enter my most private domicile?" She grinned, wiggling her eyebrows. "Kinky."

Reno looked at her with a mixture of shock and thrill. "Damn, you're playful today." he observed.

"Just think about how playful when I'm also grateful for a fixed computer."

Reno huffed. "Yea, yea. Poor me, used and abused." He took two swipes at the keyboard. "Ooooh, you've got mail."

"I hate that movie."

"No, I mean... you've got mail... can I read it?"

"No!" Pecos cried, jumping across the room to wrestle him for the keyboard. "It might be from my secret, much better lover."

"I'll kill her!" Reno laughed.

Pecos stopped. "What do you mean `her'?"

He tapped at the computer screen. "It's from Mrs Johnson."

The woman glanced at the screen. She took a moment to read the title. "BB Questionnaire... we have a Questionnaire?"

"Only one way to find out." Reno clicked it open.

30 seconds later....

"Ooooh...." Reno chuckled. "I want to know the answer to `that' one!"

Pecos chewed on her lip for a moment, then, with a swing of the hips, bumped him out of her seat. "So..."


-- The BB Questionnaire:
-- Name- Pecos
-- Age- None of your freakin' business
-- Sex- Not if my word processor doesn't get fixed.
("ummm..." "Shut up, Reno.")
-- Marital Status- occupied
("Occupied?" "Shut up, Reno.")
-- Dream Home-
-- Favorite Article of underwear- Ask Reno. He won't give them back.
("Hey! Don't send that!" "Don't worry, I won't send it... But if you happen to feel the urge to return them...")
-- How do you eat your Favorite Desert- Nibbling
("ummmm..." "Shut up, Reno.")
-- Favorite weapon-
("Quit grinnin', Reno. Whatever you're thinkin', I'm not putting `that' down!")
my throwing knife.
-- Favorite part of you body- belly button
("Really? I thought it was ears." "No, that's your favorite part of my body.")
-- " " another's body- Reno has a birthmark on his
("STOP right there, missy! Put the keyboard down or the teddy bear gets it!" "Hehe.")
-- Last C.D./DVD bought- Sound tract to Sound of Music
("So, you're the one!" "It was Perfect Tommy's idea." "Yea, well, it was Knuckles who nearly drove us all over a cliff. Just so you know, for the future, don't tease the crazy woman driving the truck.")
-- Favorite Movie/TV show- Apollo 13
("Whats wrong with L of R?" "After the sixty millionth time...")
-- Favorite Room at the Banzai Institute- swimming pool
("Is that a room?" "Shut up, Reno.")
-- Favorite Place to be Massaged- Calves
"Hear that, handsome?" "You told me to shut up.")
-- Do you Cook- No.
("That's a matter of opinion." "Word Processor.")
-- Favorite Season- Fall
-- Favorite flower- lily
("I knew that." "Yes, I trained you well.")
-- Blue or Black Ink- pencil, other than that, who cares?!
-- Latex or Leather or Rubber- Leather
("Red, soft leather, with metal studs and... Hey! I remember what your favorite underwear is now!" "Shut up, Reno.")
-- Favorite Color- Purple
-- Do you have a Tattoo- Yes, and I'm not telling you where.
("I know where." "And if you open your mouth, you will never see it again." "You're so cruel!")
-- Beer or Wine- Beer
-- Who was the last person you saw before going to sleep- New jersey
("Jersey? What do you mean Jersey? Why are you grinning at me? That isn't funny." "I raided a drunk fest for a little nightcap." "Oh... Jersey was drunk?")
-- Who was the first person you saw when you woke up- Reno Nevada
("Gotta get the locks changed." "Hey... I take that kinda personally.")
-- Should we worry- Ask me after the pregnancy test
("What?!" "Reno, you're turnin' blue." "I'm not what we should talk about turnin' blue.")
-- Favorite Hobby- teasing Reno
("Which you do so well." "My, aren't you sweet.")
-- Favorite Person- Perfect Tommy
("WHAT?!" "Just teasin'.")
Reno Nevada
-- Favorite Chore- washing the cars. Almost as much fun as swimming, 'cept you get wetter washing cars.
-- Least Favorite Chore- laundry
-- If you could have any super power, what would it be- levitation
("What you'd levitate?" "Just imagine the power of levitation during a kick boxing match." "I can think of it in a few other matches.")
-- If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be- My ankles are weak
("I like your ankles." "I didn't say they weren't pretty. I just said they're weak. It hurts when I kick the bag too hard." "I'll always kiss them better." "Word processor.")
-- If you could change anyone in the house, who would it be- Reno Nevada
("Me?" "You click your teeth when you sleep." "I what?" "Shut up, Reno.")
-- Most Dangerous thing you've ever done- Told Reno he clicks his teeth when he sleeps.
("Damn straight!")
-- Favorite Childhood Memory- Academy of Science in SF. Snuck in once when I was kid. Hiding out after a street fight and we were all chased by cops. Accidentally got locked in for the night. It was like I'd never known anything about science or anything before that night. It's why I applied to the Banzai Institute. Here it's like living in the Academy of Science.
("That would have been kinda cool. The locked in there all night thing. Not the chased by cops thing. Should I ask about that chased by cops thing?" "No.")
-- Wizard or Warrior- Warrior ("No, shit, Sherlock!")
-- Who do you think would be the last person to respond to this Survey- Rawhide
-- At this very moment do you think someone in the house is not wearing underwear- I don't know. Let me ask.
("Reno?" "That an invitation...?")
-- Who- BRB

SEND

~~~~~~~~~~

Arclight’s answer
By Arclight
~~~~~~~~~~

The storm had been going on since before dawn and showed no inclination of letting up anytime soon. The rain altered between torrential and merely a downpour. The only light outside came from the random white-hot flashes of lightning, cracking the dark clouds with claps of thunder that sometimes seemed to cause the whole building to vibrate.

Needless to say, anyone that didn't need to be outside on duty at the Banzai Institute for Biomedical Engineering and Strategic Information in New Brunswick, New Jersey, was safely tucked away inside away from the elements. Ordinarily, stuck inside wasn't such a bad thing, what with the staggeringly diverse array of personalities that called the Institute home on both a permanent and temporary basis.

Ordinarily.

This, however, was not an ordinary day. An air of boredom hung over the grounds of the Institute every bit as heavy, dark and pendulous as the storm clouds above the Garden State. It was as if the pouring rain had washed away every ounce of energy and creativity in the whole place.

Even ArcLight, who'd spent a good portion of his life keeping himself amused on his own, was at a loss for what to do. In his room he'd already picked up and put down all five of the novels he was in the midst of reading, only managing to make it thru three or four pages of one before going to the next. At least the Institute's electrical systems were as protected as possible from the elements - if the power had went out on top of everything else....

On the plus side, that meant the computers were still up. On the minus side, there was nothing going on in the wilds of the internet either. He checked the movie news sites he liked, browsed the headlines at Fark and the latest quotes at Bash, ran thru the new headers in his newsgroups...nothing. Even his email boxes were empty - no new MONSTAAH reports or anything. No deposed Nigerian royalty asking for help in liberating funds. More nothing.

He needed to do something. Anything. Yes, it was time desperate measures.

On his way up from the laundry room, he poked his head into the dayrooms and pool room just in case anyone was around to hang with, but of course there wasn't. It was almost enough to make him think it was some sort of really subtle World Crime League plot. He returned to his room and dropped his laundry bag in the corner. He was just about to drop back onto his bed and give the books another go when he caught sight of the envelope icon in the corner of his computer screen.

He sighed and as he stepped to the screen made a bet with himself that it would be an ad for some all-natural Viagra substitute.

He was wrong...it was from Mrs. Johnson. At first, he was glad because that meant something must be up. Then he was disappointed because it was just some stupid survey. But Mrs. J. wasn't the type to send out such tripe, so he scrolled down and felt a grin creeping across his face. Not quite the typical survey. A beep told him he had more mail and when he looked, there were several answers to the survey already. Billy, TommyBoy, Thunder, Mickey, Pecos... Wow. The things boredom did to a person. Surrendering to destiny, he began to answer the survey himself.


-- The BB Questionnaire:

-- Name- ArcLight
-- Age- Older than yesterday, not as old as tomorrow
-- Sex- After I'm done with this.
-- Marital Status- none
-- Dream Home- Off in the woods...on a private island...guarded by sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads
-- Favorite Article of underwear- first bra I took off my first girlfriend
-- How do you eat your Favorite Desert- spoon
-- Favorite weapon- landshark gun
-- Favorite part of you body- eyes
-- " " another's body- her eyes (who her? that's for me to know...)
-- Last C.D./DVD bought- CD: Rob Zombie - Past, Present & Future / DVD: Scream Queen Hot Tub Party
-- Favorite Movie/TV show- Movie: Highlander / TV: Wonderfalls
-- Favorite Room at the Banzai Institute- the woods out on the north side
-- Favorite Place to be Massaged- the woods out on the north side
-- Do you Cook- oh yes
-- Favorite Season- winter
-- Favorite flower- monkshood
-- Blue or Black Ink- black
-- Latex or Leather or Rubber- leather
-- Favorite Color- black
-- Do you have a Tattoo- no
-- Beer or Wine- no
-- Who was the last person you saw before going to sleep- Mrs. Johnson, I think
-- Who was the first person you saw when you woke up- Pinky
-- Should we worry- no
-- Favorite Hobby- reading
-- Favorite Person- I'll tell you later
-- Favorite Chore- riding the fence line
-- Least Favorite Chore- gate duty
-- If you could have any super power, what would it be- Wanna be Spider-Man
-- If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be- my hair
-- If you could change anyone in the house, who would it be- Perfect Tommy needs more self-confidence
-- Most Dangerous thing you've ever done- caused Tommy to spill a drink on himself
-- Favorite Childhood Memory- don't have one
-- Wizard or Warrior- Warrior
-- Who do you think would be the last person to respond to this Survey- Prof. Hikita
-- At this very moment do you think someone in the house is not wearing underwear- yes
-- Who- Me (hey! I'm doing laundry!)


ArcLight stared at the screen a long moment, then pressed the SEND key and sighed.

"Well, that killed five minutes," he thought.

He grabbed a Coke from the small refrigerator in the room and went back to his books.

~~~~~~~~~~
The Questionnaire
By The Chronicler
~~~~~~~~~~

Knuckles sneezed.

Oddity opened one eye.

Knuckles glared at the dog. "What are you looking at?" she demanded.

The eye blinked, then closed again.

The little bounty hunter sighed. She turned back to the big glass window of the near empty Bunkhouse.

She hated rainy days.

No, she hated rainy days when she wasn't allowed outside. So what? She caught a cold. Big deal. Not like she was a little girl or anything. She could take care of herself. Yea, yea, she knew. Vitamin C, grapefruits, orange juice, chicken soup, big warm sweater, sleep yadda, yadda, yadda.

But, would they trust her? Nooooo! Every time she had even the sniffles, Gage rang up the Banzai Institute, Peggy Banzai and New Jersey got together, and poor little Knuckles found herself tucked into bed with the world's greatest nerosurgeons, pathologist, and god knows what the hell Perfect Tommy was, babying her until... sleep? yea, right!

Forget the fact that she didn't like walls... particularly when she was within them. She hated being indoors anywhere. The combination of being sick AND it raining....

With a growl, Knuckles spun about and headed toward the door.

"Don't make me put a bullet in your butt." Pinky Carruthers warned.

The little bounty hunter stopped to glare at him. "Yea, right. You and what army?!" she huffed at him.

Pinky's eyes lifted just over the top of his magazine. "When Peggy get's in that mothering mood... You might get me in the end, but I sure as hell'll take you down with me." Every word was the dead truth. He knew damn straight that Knuckles, if properly riled, could take him out with half an effort. But, if it came to choosing between fighting Knuckles or telling Peggy he lost her little sick girl, he'd take Knuckles on in a heart beat.

Knuckles frowned at him for a moment, before throwing her hands in the air. "I gotta get outta here, PC. The walls... the ceiling..."

"Same as they were yesterday, same as they'll be tomorrow." Pinky answered. "Same highth, same distance. Plenty of air." Though he tried to sound dismissive, he couldn't help but be a little weary. Knuckles was unpredictable at best. But when her claustrophobia kicked in, she was at her worse. Now he was beginning to hate rainy days too.

The girl grumbled something under her breath, her eyes darting about at the walls.

Pinky ground his teeth. He too looked around, but not for an escape like Knuckles. What they needed was a distraction. Now what would distract the little bounty hunter from something as intense as the walls caving in on top of her?

Then he remembered something he had received earlier on his e- mail. "Knuckles..." He came to his feet just in time to catch her arm as she, once again headed for the door.

Hard green eyes snapped about to glare at him.

Peggy suddenly appeared to make the save. "Easy there. No blood shed indoors." she warned.

"What you need is a distraction." Pinky hurriedly told her. "Perfect Tommy..."

Knuckles frowned. "What about him?" she asked suspiciously.

"He's watching a moving with some of the boys. Let's go check it out." Peggy filled in. It took two seconds to drag the girl into the next room. "Oh, look! Right up your alley. Something about... animals?"

"What the hell type of animals are those?" Pinky demanded, but was immediately hushed by the room of viewers.

"Their mutated killer shrews." Perfect Tommy mumbled back at them, before popping a kernel of pop corn in his mouth.

Knuckles huffed. "Looks like dogs wearing wool rugs. Hey! They did not just shot that dog!"

"Mutated! Killer! Shrew!" Tommy reminded.

"Mutated killer your a..."

Peggy grabbed her arm and turned her out of the room. "Another distraction. You know, there's this Questionnaire thing going around. Might be a lot of fun answering..."

"Not a chance in hell." Knuckles growled. "Look, Peggy, I'll go outside for a little bit, come right back in, and you can have me for another week..."

"Not a chance in hell." Peggy sighed. "Okay, I'll make a deal with you. If you sit down and fill it out.... Pinky will too." she promised.

"What?!" Pinky Carruthers exclaims rather alarmed at the suggestion.

Knuckles smiled slightly. "I'd pay to read that." she admitted, casting a glance his direction.

"No need to pay. Just fill out the Questionnaire." Peggy answered, leading her back to the bunkhouse and the computers.


-- The BB Questionnaire:
-- Name- Jessica James
a.k.a. Knuckles
-- Age- don't have a clue. don't know when I was born.
-- Sex-F
-- Marital Status- happily single
-- Dream Home- sleeping under the stars in the deep redwoods
-- Favorite Article of underwear- dream on!
-- How do you eat your Favorite Desert- fingers
-- Favorite weapon- 1863 Starr Revolver, single action, 6 shot, .44
-- Favorite part of your body- my eyes. Tom's scared of green eyes. says green eyes always gets him into trouble.
-- " " another's body-I like Perfect Tommy's fingers. long, artistic, graceful. Don't tell him I said that. Not like his head can swell too much more before popping.
-- Last C.D./DVD bought- C.D.: Radio Disney (I get my own revenge!) D.V.D.: Muppets Take Manhattan (don't ask)
-- Favorite Movie/TV show- T.V: A-Team, Movie: Dogs & Cats
-- Favorite Room at the Banzai Institute- The Stables
-- Favorite Place to be Massaged- small of my back
-- Do you Cook- No. I smashed walnuts for thanksgiving dinner and got kicked out of the kitchen.
-- Favorite Season- fall
-- Favorite flower- Morning Glory (but it's a pain in the ass to control)
-- Blue or Black Ink- Whatever's handy, but not pink.
-- Latex or Leather or Rubber- none. Too hot.
-- Favorite Color- redwood brown
-- Do you have a Tattoo- a two didget ID number on the inside of my ankle, put there by Captain James when he first went up against the Uilc Dochas Clan. He wanted someway to identify me... just in case
-- Beer or Wine- Brandy
-- Who was the last person you saw before going to sleep- Perfect Tommy, Buckaroo Banzai, Rawhide, and New Jersey. The boys put up glow in the dark stars on my bedroom ceiling so I wouldn't feel so closed up. Tom hung a glow in the dark alien in the middle of it all.
-- Who was the first person you saw when you woke up- Pinky Carruthers was given the task of making sure I didn't run off and jump in puddles with a cold.
-- Should we worry- Only if they don't let me out of this joint soon.
-- Favorite Hobby- looking after the Cavaliers. Everything else is a job I just happen to enjoy.
-- Favorite Person- Do I have to answer that?
-- Favorite Chore- riding the fences. Rawhide usually does that, but when he can't I do. I like the quiet and the outside
-- Least Favorite Chore- vacuum hate the noise
-- If you could have any super power, what would it be- senses of a feral
-- If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be- I need to be taller to reach the bar bell in the Club
-- If you could change anyone in the house, who would it be- I like them the way they are, as irritating as they are.
-- Most Dangerous thing you've ever done- Dating Tom
-- Favorite Childhood Memory- Captain James gave me Oddity for my 16th birthday
-- Wizard or Warrior- warrior
-- Who do you think would be the last person to respond to this Survey- Rawhide. In fact I bet money on it.
-- At this very moment do you think someone in the house is not wearing underwear- someone leaps to mind
-- Who- he's watching rug covered hounds with extra long rope tails and butcher knives for teeth

"And SEND..." Peggy reached over Knuckles shoulder to hit the approprite key. "So, step up, Pinky. Your turn." She glanced back. "Where'd he go?"

----------

-- The BB Questionnaire:

-- Name-
-- Age-
-- Sex-
-- Marital Status-
-- Dream Home-
-- Favorite Article of underwear-
-- How do you eat your Favorite Desert-
-- Favorite weapon-
-- Favorite part of you body-
-- " " another's body-
-- Last C.D./DVD bought-
-- Favorite Movie/TV show-
-- Favorite Room at the Banzai Institute-
-- Favorite Place to be Massaged-
-- Do you Cook-
-- Favorite Season-
-- Favorite flower-
-- Blue or Black Ink-
-- Latex or Leather or Rubber-
-- Favorite Color-
-- Do you have a Tattoo-
-- Beer or Wine-
-- Who was the last person you saw before going to sleep-
-- Who was the first person you saw when you woke up-
-- Should we worry-
-- Favorite Hobby-
-- Favorite Person-
-- Favorite Chore-
-- Least Favorite Chore-
-- If you could have any super power, what would it be-
-- If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be-
-- If you could change anyone in the house, who would it be-
-- Most Dangerous thing you've ever done-
-- Favorite Childhood Memory-
-- Wizard or Warrior-
-- Who do you think would be the last person to respond to this Survey-
-- At this very moment do you think someone in the house is not wearing underwear-
-- Who-